A Letter to My 30 Year Old Self

I have no expectations for where you should be at this age. A lot of my life is destined to change in the next few months (let alone years) and so it’s unrealistic for me to have firm plans for you or milestones that you should have hit. Instead I have hopes and dreams, wishes for our future.

I hope you’ve paid off more of your student debt. This is a burden that I’ve carried for four years already and I would love for you to see the end of it. I don’t think you could possibly be done paying off the private loan, but if I’m diligent about it then the federal loan is a distinct possibility. I desperately want you have the financial freedom that I don’t. It’s been long enough and you deserve to start living the life you work so hard for.

I hope you’ve settled in a city that you like. It might be in D.C., but it might not and that’s ok, too. I love it here now, but I’ve been thinking about other places recently and I wouldn’t be surprised at all if you landed somewhere new. It would mean starting over, but I know how to build a home and a life now and I don’t think I would be afraid. Roots are good for us, they help us to feel steady and less anxious, so I hope you finally got to put some down or that you’re at least on your way.

I hope you still find happiness in friends and family. Maybe you’re in a romantic relationship, maybe you’re not, but hopefully you’re happy either way. I hope that you’re surrounded by people that you care about and who love you in return. Old friends are lovely and I hope you stay in each others’ lives, but I also hope that you make new friends, too. I hope that your world continues to grow and that you never close yourself off to more love. People bring you joy now, and I know you’re destined for even more of that in the future.

I hope you feel good about yourself. Whether it’s health goals, your career, or a new skill you’re trying to pick up, I hope you pursue it with joy and with passion. You deserve to live for the things that you love, to be the best version of yourself inside and out. I want you to feel as proud of yourself as I feel of myself now.

I hope you change, but only for the better. I hope you make mistakes, but that you can learn from them. I hope you continue to question things and feed your curiosity. And I hope you never settle for anything less than what you know you can achieve.

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