Do you ever waffle back and forth on big decisions? Do you ever feel angry over something you’re also grateful for?
You know how you should feel – loyal, proud, settled – but instead you’re frustrated, the wheels spinning in your mind until there’s no sense of control. You reach for the breaks but they’re gone and so you grab hold of the first thing you can – a gear shift – and hope a change of direction is all you need to level out.
You’re just about to pull, to get the hell out, when you remember how you got where you are, how happy you should be, and, mollified, you fall back in line, sure you couldn’t really have been so out of control. It wasn’t what you thought; just an overreaction. Everything’s going to be alright.
But is it?
What’s is life without hiccups, without speed bumps and curveballs? When will the things we want match up with the things we have? When will our expectations become reality?
Will either decision make us happy?
We can take the jump, be brave and try, only to land on our faces. The grass is always greener on the other side, but maybe its turf – fake and cracking, barely glued to the barren Earth underneath. How were we to know from the other side of the fence? How could we know without touching the ground for ourselves and feeling the difference?
Security is a precious resource, scarce in our lives. We’re grateful, but angry. We’re disappointed and scared. When it comes to big decisions, we’re always unprepared.