As someone who is almost always annoyingly on-time, the idea of a girl purposely showing up late to a first date makes absolutely no sense to me. You’ve agreed to meet someone at a specific time (or maybe they’re picking you up) so making them wait, especially when they’re usually early in order to make a good impression, just seems more obnoxious to me than anything else. So why do we do it? The short answer is that maybe some girls need a little extra time to finish getting ready. The longer answer probably dates back to years ago when a chaperone would have answered the door and spent a few minutes alone with the guy before allowing their girl to leave the house with him. But the whole thing just makes no sense to me anymore and I kind of refuse to give into it, especially when more often than not I’m meeting people somewhere other than my front door. So I promise not to be late if you do, too.
Letting Guys Pay For Everything
I’m sure there are plenty of people who will disagree with me on this point, but now that women have joined the workforce I really don’t believe there’s any reason for the guy to have to pay for everything. I’m perfectly capable of picking up the tab for my own drink. Lots of guys might say this makes them a gentleman, and it’s certainly a nice gesture, but if the date doesn’t go well than the fact that you bought me a drink makes me feel like I owe you something when I really don’t. So when I offer to split the check or say it’s no big deal that I paid for my own drink in advance, I’m not just being coy or polite; I really do mean it.
Waiting Before Calling
This one I think is fairly simple, but if you like someone and think you really hit it off on a date then there is absolutely no reason you should have to wait three days to talk to them again. It’s that simple. To be perfectly honest most girls I know usually hate the whole three day waiting thing, anyway. If we like you, waiting three days can be like torture. Just send us a text the next day to let us know that you had a really good time or follow up with the link to a band or movie that we talked about. We’re not asking for much – and too much too fast can definitely backfire on you – but a short follow up text can let us know that our feelings are returned. So if you’re fairly sure the date went well, then don’t hesitate to reach out.*
Not Being Up Front About Stuff
This might be a personal thing, but I absolutely hate when people lead with the BS and fill you in on the truth later. So I try really hard not to do it to other people. If someone comes up to me at a bar with “that” look in their eyes (you know the one) and I’m not interested, then I tell them as much. I say it bluntly and honestly even if it sounds rude because as much as I don’t want to waste my own time, I don’t want to waste theirs either. It’s not fair to either of us. So if I go on a first date with someone and it didn’t go the way I’d hoped, then I’ll be honest with you at the end and tell you that I think we should just be friends. The same goes in reverse, too: if I say I want to see you again, then I mean it. The way some people try to be nice and spare their date’s feelings might be kinder, but it isn’t exactly helping anyone; it just leads to confusion. I’ve always found that being truthful, especially when you’re just deciding whether or not to get to know someone, is infinitely more helpful in the long run.
What first date customs do you find outdated? Let me know in the comments down below!
*Note: This does not apply to people we’ve met and just exchanged numbers with. Only people we’ve already been on a “proper” first date with.