28 Weird Things Real People Do on a Regular Basis

  1. Sometimes I say “What?” Then answer the question anyway.
  2. Reach up to adjust my glasses. Remember I have my contacts in.
  3. Leave my coffee on top of the car. Drive car. Spill coffee. Die a little bit inside.
  4. Walk into a room. Forget what I came in for.
  5. Let my phone die. It’s not you, it’s me. I’ll get back to you eventually.
  6. Forget to wash the dishes after dinner. They’ll probably be in the sink until morning.
  7. Trick myself into thinking I’ve misplaced my keys. They’re actually in the same place as where I left them.
  8. Start new books. Right before bed.
  9. Triple-check for my wallet. The second look is somehow never enough.
  10. Open my journal. Realize I have nothing to write about.
  11. Make too much coffee. For some reason I always think that 2.5 cups will taste better than if I just make 2.
  12. Trip over my shoes. The ones I just set down to actually put on.
  13. Feed the dog twice. He does his hungry dance and then I forget that I’ve already fed him.
  14. Put food in the microwave. Then I forget it’s in there for an embarrassingly long time.
  15. Leave my jacket at work. I never remember until I’m halfway down the block and too annoyed to go back.
  16. Hit the snooze button. Every morning I convince myself that I can get ready faster than the day before. I’m always wrong.
  17. Panic over sending a text/email to the wrong person. Even though I proof read it multiple times before sending it.
  18. Not matching my socks. They’re supposed to come in a pair, right?
  19. Think I lost my phone. It’s actually in my hand.
  20. Bump into furniture. I knew perfectly well that it was there, but I’m drawn to it anyway.
  21. Wonder if I left the faucet running. Keep checking to make sure it’s really off.
  22. Overanalyze the weather. Change my outfit multiple times to comply.
  23. Leave socks inside my boots. I always find them the next time I wear the shoes, but it doesn’t stop me from putting my foot in first.
  24. Eat 3-4 mini Reese’s. But never substitute for just one of the “fun size.”
  25. I refuse to buy the one expensive item that I really want. But I’ll buy a few smaller things to substitute, even though it actually costs the same amount.
  26. Leave a bit of snack or drink for my future self. Then whisper “Thanks, past me,” when I go to finish it.
  27. Forget my towel in my dorm room. We have communal showers.
  28. When I lose something, I laugh. Because if I freaked out first, I would just end up laughing at myself later when I find it. So I laugh first in the expectation of finding it eventually.

*Answers provided by real people, but names have been removed for privacy. Some creative adjustments were made to account for phrasing or dramatic effect.

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